This could potentially be a really long blog post so I am only going to focus on two frustrations in my life—weight loss and being single (especially with regards the church). These are two of the biggest frustrations and challenges in my life so I figured, why not just put them out there.
Let’s start with what is one of my biggest “soap box” issue: Being single and specifically being single in the church. I am three years away from being 40, I have not been married and I have never really had a serious relationship where I thought marriage would come out of it. And most of the time, I’m ok with that. There are some days when I wish I were married with a family at this point but all I have to do is look at the freedom I have in my life and, once again, I am fine with my singleness.
There is one place, however, where my singleness stands out like a sore thumb. It is a place where most people feel accepted and part of a group. That place is the church. I believe that churches today are really geared toward families—couples, children, teens and often even those who are college age. But what about those of us who are out of college, in the work force and single? I love my church and the friends I have there but there are times I feel like I just don’t fit in.
Now, I am not condoning churches start career singles groups so that they are providing a dating service. As a matter of fact, I don’t really think it is necessary that churches have specific singles groups. I do, however, think it is important that churches recognize that not everyone in the congregation has a husband (or wife) and two and a half kids and a dog. I also think it’s very important that churches realize what a valuable resource they have when there are singles who are part of the church body. We are not tied down to a family which frees us up for volunteering and helping out with special projects. We are able to take off on a mission trip without having to re-arrange too much (really, just our work schedules).
So church, don’t overlook us when you are planning events and needing volunteers. Don’t alienate us when you are talking about marriage and family (most of us hope to be there someday). And don’t exclude us just because we are not at the same place in life as the majority.
And now, I am completely going to switch gears and move on to my other frustration: weight loss. Three years ago I was motivated to join Weight Watchers (WW) and lose some weight. I have been overweight most of my life and I was not ever truly happy with myself. So, after a year on the WW programs and 100 pounds lost, I began to enjoy things triathlons and races, swimming and biking. I also ran but it really wasn’t one of my favorite things. I ran because it was the thing that really helped with the weight loss.
But now, a few years down the road, I’ve put weight back on and I am really struggling with finding that motivation once again to get the weight back off. I am very sporadic in my workout routines. I haven’t run regularly since last September and I’ll lose ten pounds just to have a bad few weeks and put it back on.
They tell you in WW that you didn’t put the weight on overnight so you shouldn’t expect to take it off overnight. Wouldn’t been wonderful if it really worked that way? But, alas, losing weight is a daily battle that I will have to fight every day of my life.
Overall, I do not have many complaints in my life. I am content in almost every area of my life. Sure, I have days where my job is frustrating or someone in my family has irritated me but everyone has those days. I have really learned to shrug things off. I mean, there are just some things you have no control over and you accept that and move on.
Yvonne Lewis says
Having been married and widowed for 12 years I do feel left out on social gatherings but once my grief was over …….not that I don’t think about my husband, I have found inner peace and don’t mind my own company. I do have children and grandchildren but see the occasionally. I can relate to the weightloss I was down to my ideal weight 3 years ago, but alas due to a wee bit of stress have piled back the pounds. I am stiving to lose them again.
I like your new picture, and I can relate to the weight loss. I’ve been trying for 3 or 4 years now to lose, and it is really difficult. But, hang in there!!!
PS – I can really identify with the single thing too. It seems that society is a little slow catching up with the notion that there are A LOT of us singles out there right now. Life has value for us all – no matter whether we are partnered up or not.
I hear you on both counts! I can’t relate to being single in the church… but I can relate to feeling left out by being the one without kids (and wanting them!) while everyone else has them and everything centers on parenting. It is not fun. I am a huge proponent of Family Life Ministry at churches… but part of that is acknowledging that not all families are husband/wife/biological kids. Families come in all shapes and sizes these days (and always have, for that matter!)… including singles who have a “family” of friends or are just looking for ways to do relationships (romantic or otherwise). An effective family life ministry at a church addresses all of these. Getting off my soapbox now… 🙂
GO YOU for losing 100 pounds on Weight Watchers! That is a HUGE accomplishment. I know it is discouraging to watch weight come back on… I only lost about 20 or so when I did WW but have regained that plus some too. Need to focus more on losing it again…
Suzie, I just wanted to let you know how much I respect and appreciate who you are. You are such an amazing woman with so much to give and you do so whole heartedly. I am thankful for your friendship and I hope you know how much you are loved. I’m looking forward to us girls hanging out tomorrow night!
lol. My response comes up with Josh’s picture. Too funny.